A bed of nails or a bed of roses. - How to avoid misogynyfail: tips for the aspiring helpful man
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How to avoid misogynyfail: tips for the aspiring helpful man|
This list inspired by the recent behavior of software developer Stefanos Harhalakis. I include his name here so that he can find it via Google search lest he feel I am talking behind his back, a thing about which he is sensitive. Mr. Harhalakis is the author of a tool that I am not linking to here lest someone think I endorse misogyny in software applications.
- If writing an application to track a woman's menstrual cycles for use by men and women, be proactive in making it clear that you are designing a tool for cooperative use, not a tool for predicting when one's female SO will turn into the EVIL PMS MONSTER.
- If moved to include a disclaimer about the usefulness of the application in making such predictions, be sure to use a joke that makes light of the variable nature of human bodies, not just female ones.
- If releasing software containing misogynist statements to the public, be prepared to be held accountable for them in public forums of the public's choosing, not just the ones you find convenient or private.
- If informed that your actions are sexist or misogynist, don't complain that you didn't get praise for your efforts first.
- If informed that your actions are sexist or misogynist, don't inform your critics about your lack of misogynist intent. It is the impact of your action under discussion. This is physics: Force = mass times acceleration. Intention is simply not a part of the equation.
- If informed that your actions are sexist of misogynist, don't call your critic a "bitch." Even if your prior claim of a lack of misogynist intention mattered, using misogynist language with clear intent to insult utterly discredits it.
- If informed that your actions are sexist or misogynist, don't decide to persist in the sexist or misogynist action because you want to be funny. Prioritizing "funny" over "misogynist" is misogyny, and deliberately chosen. (See prior point about discrediting one's prior claims about not intending to be misogynist.)
Hilarious and yet so painful to see it play out.
Full agreement with your points... except on #1.
Predicting when one's SO will turn into the EVIL PMS MONSTER can be part and parcel of a cooperative relationship preservation strategy.
Mind, it's all about how one phrases it.
You're right. My mom taught me that knowing when my father was PMSing made him much easier to handle.
Why am I totally unsurprised that as soon as someone calls out misogynistic behavior, she is called out as a bitch? OTOH, I just want to scream, "Did you seriously just do that? Seriously??" and fall down laughing. Way to show that you aren't misogynistic, guy.
You know, there are a ton of tools for this purpose. I'm slightly surprised that he felt another one was necessary. Fertility doctors recommend their use all the time.
Of course, those tools don't have many remarks in them.
I think this was the first such tool for Maemo.